she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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