Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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