shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.