Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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(843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l

Replies (17) Good night (668) Bad night (2075)
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(217): View more from Illinois

The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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(217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e

Replies (26) Good night (7999) Bad night (1100)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(434): I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it. http://tfl.nu/sxq7

Replies (9) Good night (1190) Bad night (3763)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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(630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp

Replies (113) Good night (1686) Bad night (25309)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

How's work?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Spinning.

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(508): How's work? (978): Spinning. http://tfl.nu/6xgd

Replies (9) Good night (5050) Bad night (1206)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

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(571): I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king http://tfl.nu/c906

Replies (8) Good night (1993) Bad night (743)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.

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(307): I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street. http://tfl.nu/3ofi

Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (663)
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(239): View more from Florida

Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.

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(239): Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day. http://tfl.nu/tiwu

Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (679)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.

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(401): U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am. http://tfl.nu/s547

Replies (5) Good night (1654) Bad night (537)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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(304): Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out. http://tfl.nu/fz3p

Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (817)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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(360): I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise. http://tfl.nu/2iu1

Replies (7) Good night (1725) Bad night (493)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.

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(651): I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do. http://tfl.nu/obfe

Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (357)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.

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(401): Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house. http://tfl.nu/mj8z

Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (345)
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(707): View more from California

WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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(707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8

Replies (5) Good night (408) Bad night (597)
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(416): View more from Toronto

5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt

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(416): 5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt http://tfl.nu/29z0

Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (286)

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