I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........