Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

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(443): View more from Maryland

One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...

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(845): View more from New York

uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.

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