i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
