What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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