What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
