went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
