I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She's the barista slut.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
