ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
