Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is my gift to your gina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
