Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
