we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
