I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
