So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
