Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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