I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
