he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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