If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
