I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize