OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
