Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
