i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
