I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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