just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He shit in the fireplace
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
