a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
