YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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