I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
