I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
