My underwear smells like fireworks.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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