Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
