was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
