Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
