i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
