yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
