Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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