Jerry, you need to find god
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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