Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
