it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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