Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
