Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
