Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I got inside last night via doggy door
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
