I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
