I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
