I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
