i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
