Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
