I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
