do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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