Me. At least after what I've been through.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he fucked my hip out of place.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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