I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
