I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We need to get me chipped asap
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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