ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
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the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bring me that man meat
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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