It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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