My nipple is on Facebook.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
