Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
