If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
