youre lurking in front of me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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