Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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