TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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