I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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