Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
