i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
