so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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