I wish my penis had an off switch
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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