even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
